Archive for January, 2009
Fear and Loathing at the PR Event
Monday, January 19th, 2009The other night, at some launch party on Perry Street, I found out the true advantage of being a few inches taller than the national average.
It came as a server from the kitchen was trundling by with a tray balanced over his head. A tray, I hasten to add, loaded with a fascinating array of [...]
Danielle Steel in Hell
Monday, January 19th, 2009Despite the fact that we’re both loaded up with roughly a million writing projects apiece, the Girlfriend and I decided to write a cheesy romance novel together, trading off chapters. The, er, plot involves a bored trophy wife (Olivia) falling into a torrid affair with the golf pro (Brent) at the local Country Club.
Our main [...]
Just Because I Like Variety in My TV-Watching
Thursday, January 15th, 2009To: The Producers of 24
From: Me
Re: Sunday/Monday’s Season 7 Premiere
Okay, guys, I know that Jack Bauer is ultimately a one-dimensional character whose personals ad would read, “Enjoys long walks on the beach, smooth jazz, and beating terrorists with a phonebook until they’re bleeding from all sorts of interesting places.” But this time around, would it [...]
Hughley & Me
Thursday, January 8th, 2009D.L. Hughley, the comedian, and I are smoking cigars and drinking wine in the back lounge of Davidoff on Columbus Circle as I slip my way through interview questions lightly disguised as conversation – this being for a Cigar Report article. He’s become CNN’s answer to Jon Stewart and thus we end up talking lots [...]
Well, That Puts Everything in Perspective
Tuesday, January 6th, 2009A team at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics has determined that our galaxy is a full 50 percent more massive than previously estimated, and rotating at 600,000 miles per hour (insert “That’s as fast as [historical figure] spinning in his grave” here). They also provided a Hubble image of the galactic core, an image guaranteed [...]
Perhaps the Best Film of 2008
Monday, January 5th, 2009Replicate the emotional effect of watching Darren Aronofsky’s ‘The Wrestler,’ starring a resurgent Mickey Rourke, in four easy steps!
Step 1
Download Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Nebraska’ or ‘The Rising’ onto your iPod.
Step 2
Find a suitable length of barbed wire. Using heavy gloves, bend the wire into a U-shape.
Step 3
With the iPod blasting The Boss’s most depressing [...]