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Being an editor means that, for better or worse, you’re the target of many a poorly aimed pitch email from PR flaks. These pitches range from the innocuous (“New Dunhill store opening!”) to the unexpectedly useful (“And you thought the economy doing its best impersonation of the RMS Lusitania meant we couldn’t release a half-million-dollar chronograph”) to the downright confusing (Photo of woman standing on horse, horse standing in ocean, caption above reading, “Can anyone else on earth do this?”). And then you have probably the most horrifying thing I’ve seen this week:

Basically, the site guarantees that the freshly minted ex who’d ordinarily just throw your Bruce Springsteen box set out the bedroom window and call it a day will instead opt to pursue you down Broadway with a chainsaw or flamethrower; a ‘Breakup Assistant’ (easily accessible via the main page) allows the particularly wimpy to send an email note announcing, quote, ‘It’s over.’  If that wasn’t strange enough, the front page offers the opportunity for people to rant about their relationship crash-and-burns, which for the coal-hearted allows for hours of sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

And people wonder why I delete before reading.

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